Breakin Ankles

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Randomness Pt. III

If you could check anybody's email box in the world, who would it be? It's probably a better bet to check a female's email box since they tend to gossip more over email. Am I off base here?

One of my roomates in college was a drummer. I once asked him about the history/origins of drumming. His response: "I don't know man, probably cavemen banging on rocks" -- Rock on. (how cheezy was that)

I saw Napolean Dynamite the other day. Hugely dissapointing. Maybe it was hyped up too much, but I didn't fine it terribly funny. On the flip side, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle is amazingly funny.

Once I was watching tv with my sister and she tells me "I think my foot fell asleep". I respond with a retort that would make big brothers smile the world over, "Why? Were you talking to it?". Hmm... maybe you had to be there ;-)

I wonder if anyone out there has over 8000 MP3's. The most I've heard of someone having is around 5,000.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Aim nightmare #23

Last week I was chatting online with a friend from college. What were we chatting about? The looming threat of a powerful Yen in a post-modern Eurocentric world economy. Afterwards, we began talkin about women. I was telling him about one lady in particular that I've been hanging out with lately. He asks me "Do you have a picture of this chick? I want to see what she looks like". Seeing that I am a tech savvy student (read: nerdy), I am of course a member of the latest college fad, And yes, I did graduate college already ;-) So I go on TheFacebook and since this young lady is a friend of mine, I check out her profile and find a picture of her. Money. I copy the link of the picture and send it over to my friend.

Soon thereafter, I start im'ing with the above mentioned lady. Holla.

Things are going good, and during our conversation, I proceed to check my email and see an email fwd with a link to a funny online video. So I copy the link to the video and paste it into her aim window.

I type "check it out, this is sorta funny". Control-V to paste. Simple enough. But it turns out that I didn't really copy the link to the online video. So what link is sent instead? The fucking picture of the very chick I was talking to! Fuckin A! This is how it went down:

"check it out, this is sorta funny"
(insert link of girl here)
"Woops! that's a picture of you... "

When I see what I've done, I stand up and say "oh fuckin shit". Oddly enough, I wasn't upset or distraught because the whole situation was so ridiculous and crazy that it was more funny than anything else. And who the fuck would have ever thought that shit like this really happens! I mean, I had heard of aim nightmares before, but they were always something that happened to other people. I never imagined that it could happen to someone like me. After all, I'm an experienced chatter. Been chatting since '96 and haven't looked back since. Back to the story.

After I type "Woops! that's a picture of you...", she replies "haha" (read: don't im me ever again you crazy stalker). I make up some excuse along the lines of "Woops, I was trying to upload a pic onto thefacebook and was having trouble so I was just copying and pasting random pictures trying to figure it out" (yikes... how lame of an excuse is that!). Then I type

"Here is the real link"
(insert very funny link here)

Lucky for me, the video link was really funny. Hopefully funny enough to make the young lady forget about me and my stalkerish ways. I then act as if nothing had happened and bring up some new topic of conversation. I don't know what she made of the whole situation, though maybe I'll ask her sometime. One friend told me that, for all we know, she thought I did it on purpose as a joke. Who knows. But I do know that if that happened to me, I'd be freaked out.

Maybe it isn't such a big deal though. Maybe, just maybe, online 'research' is so rampant (especially among college students) that blunders like mine are expected to happen every once in a while. I mean, who hasn't done a google search on someone before. Who hasn't spent too much time browsing peoples profiles on Friendster and TheFacebook? I really pray I'm not alone here!

In all honesty, there's no rationalizing it. It's just plain creepy! Period. So what is the update with the aforementioned young lady? Well I ended up hanging out with her later that night, so maybe not all is lost, but it's definately something that will seem wierder and wierder to her as time goes on and she has time to think about it. Or, perhaps, she might think that my little mistake was actually sort of cute? Yeah right. This is definitely a story to which most people would respond with "Well dude, it can't get any worse..."

Well, the only thing that would be worse would be if I was chatting with a friend about this girl and accidentally typed my messages into her aim window! That would be Aim nightmare #1. Anyone out there have their own aim nightmares?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Guy's bed vs. Girl's bed *

When it comes to sleep-time comfort, girls have guys beat hands down.

A guy's bed will usually have 2 pillows at most, a blanket, and maybe a sheet. A girls bed will have a minimum of 5 pillows, and probably much more since most will have pillows that they don't use for sleep, but toss on the floor when they go to bed. Head pillows. Body pillows. Pillow Pillows. They got it all. Moreover, girls will have a blanket, an assortment of the worlds finest linens/sheets -- minimum of 3 -- (each with its own distinct fragrance), a blanket, a down comforter, and a variety of other delights. If you slept under ALL the blankets etc. that most girls keep on their bed, you'd probably die of heat stroke come morning.

Rules of the Trade:
A single girls bed is always bigger than a single guys bed.
A single girls bed is always more comfortable than a single guys bed.

Put simply: You go to sleep on a guys bed.
When you're in a girls bed, you hibernate.

* Footnote: The idea for this post was ganked, without permission, from The Freakin Rican.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Small town girl makes it big...

So I caught an episode of The Osbournes today centering around a girl who payed 20,000 dollars (money went to charity) to spend 24 hours with Ozzy and Co. First off, who would pay $20,000 to hang out with anyone?

The girl who payed the 20 Gz was really nice, and sort of sweet, and you could tell that she really was having the time of her life. After some random shit, we find out that the girl is a "singer". I don't think I've said this about anyone before, but I think I'm actually a better singer than this chick. She was that bad. What was funny was that afterwards the chick is like "Yeah, I've had a natural voice ever since I was a kid.. Actually, I started singing when I was 15 months old" What the fuck?!

Turns out that the chick who dished out the 20G'z is a pizza delivery girl and, in order to attain the moolah, went into debt, maxing' out all her credit cards in the process. Oh yeah, shes only 25 and has been working as a pizza delivery girl for the last 7 years. She says she is tired of delivering Za' and wants to move out to LA to make it big with her band. Yikes. Sharon Osbourne feels bad for her, recognizing that as a pizza delivery girl she doesnt have much cash flow to pay back 20 big ones. So Sharon decides to give 10,000 dollars back to the Ozzy fan with a good heart, but bad vocal chords.

But the best part of all this: Where, oh where in the United States could you find a person willing to go into major debt, to the tune of 20 G'z, just to spend 24 hours with a dysfunctional family? Appleton Fuckin Wisconsin. Too funny.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Where the fuck is the remote?

Nothing is more aggravating then when you can't find the remote. It's sort of funny how when you can't find the remote, you start looking in places that would never, in a billion years, have a remote. But, the thing with remotes is that you tend to take them with you, often unknowingly, on little adventures around your house or apartment. Phone rings upstairs, gotta go up and see who it is -- remote in hand. Doorbell rings, gotta go answer it -- remote in hand. Toilet clogs, gotta go do some dirty work -- remote in hand.

The other day, I couldn't find my remote and it was driving me insane. I contemplated actually doing some homework, but that only increased my insanity level exponentially.

I started off with the usual places where a remote might hideout, under the couch, on the floor somewhere. No luck. So then I started looking in wierd places. The pockets in my jeans. Nope. The fridge? What the fuck am I thinking?! I even checked in the oven! Lord have mercy! My rationalization for looking in such crazy spots went something like this: "Hmm.. I did go to the fridge earlier to get a drink... maybe I picked up a drink and left the remote in there" -- or -- "Hmm.. I did have something in the oven earlier, maybe I left the remote in there by mistake". The way I was thinking, I'm surprised I wasn't like "Hmm... I was in Chicago a few months ago, maybe I'll catch the bus down there and have a look". I was about to go looking for my remote in Oprah's panties, but I figured no man has been anywhere near there in ages. Ayyy-o!!!

Long story short, (short story long is more like it), I found my remote underneath a pile of debris. I didn't even have to use my AK, I gotta say, today was a good day.

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