Breakin Ankles

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Video Games (NES Style!)

Every guy has had an infatuation with video games at some point in their lives. All the fools my age probably grew up on the old school Nintendo, so let's take a trip down memory lane.

Super Mario Brothers 1: Ah, a classic! Adored by guys and girls alike, this game started it all. This is one of those games that is challenging at first, but soon becomes beatable in like 10 minutes. Warp to level 4 through the tunnel, then again to level 8. Fight a pesky dragon, save the princesses, rejoice. Gotta give this game 5 stars as you can play it over and over, and still have a good time, even after you've beaten it a billion times.

Duck Hunt: Remember playing this game while jumping over beds, doing somersaults, all while shooting at ducks with a trusty ole' Nintendo firearm? Basically, it's 10 year old kids pretending they're Rambo. Gotta love it.

Tecmo Bowl: Oh shit!! This game was off the CHAIN, and if you don't know, then you go better pick up a copy. What kid didn't love playing this f'in game? The graphics weren't great, but I think it's one of the funnest games of all time. Every guy had their favorite team they always played and stuck with. And this was back in the 80's, before expansion, so the league talent wasn't as diluted as it is today. I always went with the Raiders. I'd kick ass with Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. Throw in Tim Brown and Howie Long, and you're in for a beating. Other notable teams were the Bears and the 49'ers, but I'd still take on anyone with my trusty Raiders.

Playing this game was fun as hell. Who can forget having the QB run back 50 yards, only to launch a bomb down the field for a touch down. Who can forget running the ball and makin people miss by running around in a quick circle. Who can forget getting right near the end-zone and just chillin there, taunting the defense, even running up and down the 1 yard line. Who can forget scoring a touchdown and seein the graphic of 2 players givin high-fives? Who can forget the cheerleaders? This game was dope on all levels.

Super Mario 3: definitely the best from the Mario trifecta. So many cool things: Flying. Frog Suits. Whistles. Big World. The list could go on and on. I always thought the most frustrating way to die was to be eaten by a giant fish. Level 8 on this was a bitch. An all time classic, though.

Punch Out: Classic game with an assortment of stereotypical characters. Piston Honda. Glass Joe. Can't remember any of the other names, but there was an Indian that put a spell on you (great tiger), some fat hippo dude that would lose his shorts. And who can forget about the star of the game, Lil Mac!! He'd train like a bitch, running while his trainer rode along on a 10 speed. Dedication. What were the other characters names? I could look it up online, but im whoring myself for comments.

Ice Hockey: Who to pick? Fat dudes with power, skinny dudes with speed? Game theory for kids, sort of.

Zelda: I used to hate Zelda. Then one summer day I popped it in and got addicted big time.

How often did this happen to people? You're playing a game and you finally get to the last level. You then decide to take a break and think things over as you've been waiting for this moment for weeks. So you get up and start pacing back and forth, trying to stay cool. But remember, you can't pace for too long. After all, you're in the zone and you gotta pick the controller back up and get down to business. Someone then pops in the room and asks what you're doing. You respond like a drill sergeant layin down the law, "Quiet! I just got to level 8 and I need to think". You think to yourself, "I can do this, I can do this". If you beat the level, you rejoice like a King with a harem of 3 biters. If you fail, you throw the remote and swear like a sailor. Good times. It's also great when your playing a game, lets say Super Mario Brothers for example, and your making a big important jump, and you'll stand up and tilt the controller as if that has some effect on what's going to happen.

And how can we talk about Nintendo without talking about getting the games to work. Remember how games would get dusty, and you'd blow into them trying to get it to work. Everyone thought they had the best method. "Dude, you have to blow on it 3 times and tap it once". "No way man, my way always works. You blow on it softly, then hit it once hard, and quickly put it in (we still talkin about video games? ha!)"

Old School Nintendo. Childhood fun to the max.

Anyone have any Nintendo stories of their own? Favorite games? Favorite stories?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

And if ya don't know....

Nothing beats wearing a pair of new socks for the first time.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Living with a Freak

One college summer, a roommate of mine moved back home and found a lovely subletter named "Troy" to take his place. Now Troy was quite an interesting character. Before moving in with me and my other roommates, he had spent the previous year traveling around the US following Phish. In addition to traveling, Troy enjoyed partaking in many drugs. A different kind of trip I suppose. Now why did I first put the name Troy in quotes? Well you see, "Troy" wasn't even his real name. I can't remember what his real name was, but how he came to be called "Troy" is a classic "Troy" story. One weekend, while still in the midst of following Phish around the country, he found himself crashing in the woods with some fellow Phish heads. As the story goes, him and a friend were tripping on some shrooms, or something, and his friend goes to him all serious "Yo man, YOU'RE TROY". Troy then responded "Yeah, I AM TROY!". Weird, huh? What's funny is that he thought this little story was completely normal, and he explained it as matter of factly as if he were telling a story about where he bought his shoes.

Not surprisingly, and at his parents behest, Troy used to see a Psychiatrist. Being a cunning fellow, Troy would go into the Psychiatrists office and take notes himself. What did he take notes of? As I recall, he told me this:

"It was so funny, I'd walk in there and the Psychiatrist would be taking notes of our session. Meanwhile, I'd take out my little notebook and take notes about the Psychiatrist. He thought he was analyzing me, but I was really analyzing him."

Troy was so proud when he told this story, it was as if he was describing how he discovered the cure for polio or something. Troy also enjoyed saying the phrase "Right on, right on" like every fucking second. Interesting guy this Troy fellow was.

Sometimes Troy would get all deep and say stuff like: "Dude, when you think about it, life is almost like a house of ... its almost like a house of popsicle sticks, you know what I mean?" Sorry bro, I don't. Troy would sometimes try and explain his "deep" thoughts, and sometimes they'd actually make sense, in a weird sorta way. Maybe if I was into existentialism I'd appreciate his unique take on life, but before that, I'd need to look up "existentialism" in the dictionary, and we all know that ain't happening.

Contrary to public opinion, living with Troy wasn't all fun and games and popsicle sticks. For you see, while Troy enjoyed paying his dues, he didn't really enjoy paying rent so much. Long story short, he left town without paying a months rent. My roommate, who he was subletting from, tried to track him down and get shit settled out. First step: Call Troy's lovely parents. Bad move. Turns out they want nothing to do with Troy and his money problems anymore. Step 2: Call his girlfriend's parents and see what's up. Apparently they didn't care for Troy much and wanted him out of their daughter's life from the get go. This Troy fellow is getting shadier by the minute.

Next, Troy gets pissed that my roomie contacted his parents and sends him some email, with the subject as "War", saying how we are to contact him ONLY at some voicemailbox number, and how my roomie should think twice about contacting his parents again.

Then, his girlfriend sent my roomie an email saying how she's in lawschool (yeah right!) and how she knows lawyers in the area and how she might consider filing a restraining order and pressing charges against my roommate. Freak!

Long story short, turns out Troy and his girl moved down to Tennessee. SUPPOSEDLY, Troy became violent, broke some windows on his girlfriends car and became homeless after they broke up. Not to worry, she explained, Troy just had some mental problems and wasn't violent at all (never mind breaking some car windows??) In any event, Troy had a free months stay in our apt.

Anyone out there have some crazy roommate/subletter stories?

Monday, October 03, 2005

Randomness Part V

You know how some stores have cash registers that say "If you do not receive a receipt, your purchase is free"? What, exactly, is the idea behind that? If someone doesn't get their receipt, will they really try and get out of paying? I just picture the person at the register being like "Dude, come on, I've been standing here for 8 straight hours, are you serious with this? It's a fucking receipt"

You ever talk to someone and at some point in the conversation you can't help but think to yourself, "I have no idea what this person has been talking about for the last 15 minutes." Then, you start to wonder what the hell you have been thinking about for the last 15 minutes, since you obviously weren't paying attention to the person your supposedly "talking" to.

A few days ago, I met a young couple that had a 4 year old son. A friend that was with me goes to the child: "Hi! How old are you?!" It was then my turn to say "Hi" to the lad. Now I haven't been around little kids in the longest time, so without thinking, I just look at the kid and go "What up?" I'm surprised I didn't ask him what his major was. Maybe next time I'll ask him about his career plans.

eXTReMe Tracker