Breakin Ankles

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Jewelry Stores at the Airport

Traveling over the holidays recently, I noticed a peculiar store at the airport that sold jewelry. I couldn't help but wonder who in their right mind would ever buy jewelery at an airport. I mean, for all I know it's quality stuff, but the location is what perplexes me. I came to the conclusion that the only people who would actually make use of a jewelry store at an airport would be men who cheat on their wives.

Think about it: You're a wealthy businessman travelling abroad for, um, oh i don't know, lets say, business. While overseas in London or Bangkok or Brussles or wherever you may be, you somehow get drunk and order a 500 dollar an hour escort to your room. I mean, who hasn't gotten plastered while wearing a 3 piece suit, taken out the maximum amount from an ATM machine, drunkenly stumbled to your hotel suite, awkwardly flirted with the maid (who through alcohol coated eyes seemed 40 years younger than her 70 year old wrinkles indicated) and called a masseuse who (to your surprise) turned out to be an expensive hooker? I mean, come on, it's inevitable.

Then morning comes. You realize you paid a woman 500 dollars an hour for 3 minutes of her time. You are hungover, but sober enough to realize that perhaps your MBA degree is a joke. By the time you shower, get dressed and become alert, you notice that your wife has left you 3 voicemails inquiring as to how your trip has been going. Your 3 year old daughter even left you a sweet message saying "When are you coming home daddy, I miss you". Before you know it, you're at the airport feeling guilty as hell. Are you going to tell your wife what you did? Of course not, you're not an idiot. But you are human and you do have feelings. But what, oh what!, can you possibly do? A'ha! It's almost too good to be true!! Out of the corner of your eye you see what looks to be a jewelry shop. Oh joy! You rush over and quickly buy a beautiful diamond necklace for your wife. You come home and your family is so excited to see you and then you drop the present on your wife. She smiles while you quietly think to yourself -- "God bless the man who decided to put jewelry stores in airports." 2 minutes later the kids are in bed and your wife is waiting for you in the bedroom while wearing some fancy lingerie. You, however, are busy catching up on some work emails that just came through on your blackberry. And what do you know! Looks like you're traveling again at the end of the week. Maybe that MBA was good for something after all.

 
eXTReMe Tracker