Lunch with a hot waitress

Last Friday, I went to grab some grub with Chuckles and The Freakin Rican at a local eatery. We walk in and notice a really cute waitress fiddling with dishes behind the counter.

We think: Oh shit! I hope she's our waitress!
She thnks: Oh shit! I hope I don't have to serve these saps.

We're told we can sit wherever we want, so we quickly grab a table. Chuckles and the Rican sit down. I'm still standing fiddling with my coat when it happens. The pretty waitress approaches and is standing right next to me. This is my in! Being a dork, I start talking before the waitress has a chance to say anything and I act like I'm the waiter. I ask Chuckles and The Rican if they're ready to order yet or if I should just start them off with some drinks. The waitress looks at me sort of shocked and is like "Wow! look at you.. tryin to steal my job". I say I need some extra cash. In classic fashion, the Rican proceeds to make a joke at my expense. The waitress, to our surprise, seems to be laughing at all this and makes some jokes of her own. I sit down. She notices my Federal Jurisdiction book and makes some joke about it. We lamely say that we are actually here to eat and discuss the book.

We proceed to order. Being a fancy cat, the Rican orders a water, but has special instructions for the waitress. Apparently the Rican can only drink water if it has a lemon in it. We mention that the Rican is sophisticated and the waitress plays along. A friendly exchange b/n the three of us and the waitress went on for about a minute before she took our order. She leaves. The gentleman discuss: "Wow, shes so hot! " -- "And cool too" -- "Yeah, she was really funny, she seems to really like us!" -- "We should have asked if she was on the menu!" -- "Yeah dude! Totally!"

We think: We're so in.
She thinks: I better get a big ass tip for pretending to like talking to these law nerds.
We think: Who cares what she thinks, shes hot!!