Breakin Ankles

Monday, September 17, 2007

Gimme that dog

So it recently came to my attention that some wealthy New York heiress died and left over 12 million dollars to her dog while leaving nothing to her grandchildren. For whatever reason (read: my anger that I was left out of the will) this lady annoys me because she seems to epitomize the wealthy socialite with an irrational obsession/love of animals. I mean come on, leaving your dog 12 million dollars? Give that money to charity, lady. Though I've never met this woman, I'd wager a large sum of my friends money that she was annoying. In fact, I saw a picture of her beloved dog and the dog looks annoying too. Update: turns out this woman is billionaire real estate investor Leona Helmsley and her nickname was the "Queen of Mean."

In any event, and at the risk of turning this blog into a forum for my irrational rants, allow me to state to the masses that I find old single women who leave fortunes to their pets to be an annoying group as a whole. There's probably a reason they decide to leave everything to their pets -- because they don't actually get along with human beings. If I ever come across an old woman with a tiny dog I might just be inclined to steal it from her... right in front of her face and right under her nose. And to add insult to injury, whilst I was stealing said dog, I'd remark "Hey lady, I'm stealing your dog and there's nothing you can do about it you old bag o bones." Then I'd saunter off, take pictures of the dog and tag that bitch up on facebook for all to see. Bitch.

2 Comments:

Blogger Val said...

I don't like pets either, or bags of bones for that matter.

11:05 AM

 
Blogger Val said...

I have to say, however, that I just saw the dog's photo, and that's some fantastical hair. I'm not even sure if that's a dog. Whatever it is, it's compellingly bizarre.... Maybe I'd leave it just $1M.

11:21 AM

 

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