Breakin Ankles

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Newsbreak! Fast Food makes you Fat!! Developing...

So I just finished watching "Super Size Me", and here is what I think about our country's little weight problem, not to mention the idiots who want to sue McDonalds for "making" them fat.

First of all, there is some douche bag law professor from George Washington University who is apparently spearheading these lawsuits against McDonalds. He proclaims at one point "They're luring kids in!! They have playgrounds in many of their establishments. They pioneered the Happy Meal. They're doing all they can to lure kids in at a young age." Wow. I thought Sherlock Holmes was dead, but apparently he teaches law at George Washington. Maybe this guy can parlay his clever and original thoughts into a Law Review article. Actually, I'd like to see that cuz I'm running low on toilet paper at the moment. So McDonalds markets itself as a place for kids. So what? I remember when I was 12 that I wanted to go to McDonalds a few times a week just so I could purchase some special Basketball cards that were only available under the golden arches. Going to McDonalds made me happy -- I got toys and good food and all was well with the world. It's funny how the movie tries to make McDonalds out to be the bad guy when all it does is sell tasty food at a low low price. Will it make you fat? Of course, so don't go if you wanna stay healthy. Or if you can't resist, how bout trying some exercise? People in the movie complained about how McDonalds is everywhere. Umm.. that's because people love McDonalds and there is enough demand to warrant its presence all over the place.

Everyone knows McDonalds isn't good for you, so if you get fat off of it, its' your fault. I myself can easily polish off a whole pack of Oreo Double Stuffs in 2 days. Note: double stuff Oreos fuckin rule! Obviously, eating a whole pack of oreos, double stuff no less, is not a healthy thing to do. So being a clever and crafty thinker, I made a choice that will shock many of you. For you see my loyal readers, I decided to rarely, if ever, buy double stuff oreos anymore. It's called self-control motherfuckers, use it! People out there have real problems -- there are people in this world who are starving and people have the gall to complain that they can buy a hamburger for 99 cents and a 32 ounce cup of coke for a dollar. Americans have to be the most spoiled and lazy fuckers on the planet! On the first day of my Freshman orientation at the University of Michigan, I was pumped to see that there was McDonalds within walking distance from my dorm. Did I eat every meal there? Fuck no, and if I chose to, I'd probably have gained a few pounds, with no one to blame but myself.

The movie also talked about how kids in High Schools and Middle Schools aren't eating correctly. Very true, but isn't that part of growing up and being a kid -- eating junk food, watching T.V and enjoying life? In High School, the only thing I ever got from the Cafeteria was either Pizza or French Fries. Many days I didn't eat lunch at all. Other days I'd just eat a candy bar and have a can of Soda. Even today my eating habits are far from ideal, but I excercise a lot to balance it out. The more junk food and alcohol I consume, the more I exercise. Simple in its complexity -- I think I should write a book, and the sad thing is, people would probably flock to the stores to learn my "secrets". At one point during my lawschool career I probably gained a good deal of fat from an excess of beer, pizza, fries, oreos and all sorts of shit. So what did I do? I just cut back on the 3am pizza, stopped getting fast food as often -- though the beer intake remained the same, and maybe even increased! :-) But enough babbling. My point is simple and my point is this: Everyone knows what healthy food is -- it's usually the food that doesn't taste very good. If you have a weight problem, eat healthy and start exercising. If you need me to tell you this without having already realized this when you were 10, then you probably deserve to be fat anyways. Kidding ;-)


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