Breakin Ankles

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Girls and Booze: Friends to the end

Summer 05 and I'm chillin at a bar with some peeps. Little did I know that on that brisk June night, I would be privy to an episode of drama that only women can cook up. The story:

One of the girls I'm with is waiting in line to use the bathroom. Another girl rolls up and apparently tries to cut in front of her. Being a nice gal (for the time being at least), my friend responded in a congenial manner "I've actually been waiting in line here for a bit". The other girl then responded curtly "Oh, whatever, then just go". Oh shit... girl drama is bouts to go down. My friend starts talkin back and before I know it, it seems like there is going to be a full scale rumble. The shit talking escalated quickly, and it wasn't long before they were all up in each others faces, pointing, hooting, yelling, and head bobbing. Before anything serious went down, though, the girl that was in the bathroom at the time left, at which point my friend went in to use the facilities. She comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later with a huge ass smile on her face. She then proceeds to empty out from her purse 3 rolls of toilet paper and goes "Let's see what that bitch will wipe herself with now.... I got all that bitches toilet paper!!" The fact that girls can be so devious and clever had me in stitches, but the best exchcange was yet to come. When the girl came out of the bathroom, my friend goes "So bitch, what did you wipe yourself with?" The chick responds "Fuck you bitch". Again they're right back in each others faces. Once more, my friend goes "That's fucking nasty bitch, what the hell did you wipe urself with?!" Then the chick puts her hand right up to my friends face and goes "Your looking at it bitch!! Can you smell it?!!" Jesus Christ, where the fuck am I!?! Eventually the 2 parted ways without any one throwin down, and oddly enough, the 2 of them became friends by the end of the night. As another man named Homer once said: "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems".


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