Breakin Ankles

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Charlotte's Web: A Fairytale

There i was--making my way through my favorite local bar--when what should brush my cheek?

A strand.
I looked up. Peeled away the strand.

Continuing ahead, I walk into a mass group of what appeared to be friends. But friends they weren't.

A mass of spiders.

They looked at me as if I had just made the biggest mistake of my soon to be short lived life. I tried to turn around, but was entangled in those silky strands. Try as I might, my struggling only made it worse. What appeared to be the mayor of the web made me turn around. I relinquished myself to my fate.

Out from the shadows she came.
My eyes followed the black line of her spindly legs up to her huge eyes. For a moment I froze. All time stopped.

But then I realized.
I have nothing to lose.
It was now. or never.

So I filled my lungs. And I straightened my shirt.
I was going to face the widow head on.

I decided a pre-emptive attack was the way to go. With lightening speed I broke free of the entanglement, broke free of the spiders that tried to wrap me in that silky web. And came up from behind.

"Well...hello there. How are you?" I queried.

The response was to be expected.
Inarticulate and dull.
Nothing more than simple stuttering.
Her eyes were filled with fear.
She couldn't look at me directly.

I continued with the rapid fire. She was not going to make it out this time.
Two options existed:
It was her. Or it was me.

I continued. "So how is your latest prey? Catch anything more in this luxurious web of yours?"

Stumbling through her words like a methadone junkie. Stringing together what was audible from her sounds, I realized there really was no point. Sensing the impending awkard silence. She was on her heels, and quickly asked,

"How is school?"

That's all she could muster. I had to savor the moment. A grin grew gradually across my face. I couldn't help it. I steadied myself.

"Great." I replied ever so confidently not realizing I was still trapped in the web. "Couldn't be better."

Just then her webmate tried to intervene. He could sense that she was losing ground. It was too late.

I turned to around to leave. But decided. NO MERCY.

I spun my heel. Tapping her just above her black widow red hourglass marking, I replied, "It was really nice to see you Widow."

The only venom to fly that night would be mine.

And the widow, what did she get you ask? Banished. From the web. Forever.

Moral of the story. Even the widow can be prey.


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