Generic graduation speech

I was going through some random shit in my room and found an old student run magazine from high school. It was a graduation issue, so it was full of all that goodbye-to-high-school type of stuff. So witthout further adieu, here is a generic speech that you are liable to hear at any high school graduation.

Principal: And now, some words by class president (insert name of kiss-up student here)

Student: Hello. I can still remember our first day of class here at (insert highschool name here). Everything seemed so big, and me and my friends just seemed so.... so small. But as the years passed by, those big hallways have gotten a lot smaller, and all those strange faces have become familiar. We stand here before you ready to enter the real world. We are nervous, but we are also confident that (insert highschool here) has prepared us to tackle any challenges that we will face. This isn't the end for us, it's really the beginning. Where are we all going to end up? We don't know, but you know what? THAT is the exciting part.

I could list all of the memories that were created during the last four years, but then I'd still be speaking by the time next years graduation rolled around (wait for the laughter to subside). But seriously, the memories I've made here will last me a life time. But what really made my time here so memorable has been the interactions I've had with my teachers. I will never forget Mrs.___ for showing me that I really can make a difference. And I can't forget Mr. ___. He was always so patient with me, and I will be forever gratefull to him for drivng me to get an abortion my Junior year.

Websters defines a graduation as "A ceremony at which degrees or diplomas are conferred". After recieving our diplomas earlier today, I think that we can all agree that truer words have never been written.

Friends, family, teachers, fellow classmates: we stand here today not as children, but as young adults. Except, of course, for that genius 12 year old chineese exchange student going to MIT next year. -- Class of (insert year here), we made it!!!