Breakin Ankles

Saturday, January 08, 2005

What do you drink?

I'm bored and drinking an ice-cold Coke, so I thought it was time to give a run down of the best sodas out there. On top of the list, with out dispute, is Coke. Woop Woop! Ain't nothing better than an ice cold Coke on a warm summers day! All you pepsi-drinkin, thumb twiddling, A.M-radio-listening fools who playa hate on da Coke need to recognize game. Coke is clearly superior than pepsi. Now Wild Cherry Pepsi is legit, so calm down and put the knives away you angry Pepsi drinkers. Cherry Coke v. Wild Cherry Pepsi; now there's a fight I'd pay to see.

And who can forget about the smartest soda of them all. That's right! I'm talking about the Docta! Dr. Pepper has been helping quench the thirst of thirsty individuals for years. He is cheap (around .75 cents per housecall) and is enjoyed by both rich and poor, city and country folk alike.

If all Soda beverages comprised a family, I think that Mountain Dew would be the pot smoking kid who spends his days thinking about the meaning of life, and his nights skateboarding to his hearts content. (It is highly probable that all those Do the Dew commercials have somehow infiltrated my brain). In this soda beverage family, Cherry 7-up strikes me as the young attractive stepmom that Dad(coke) leaves Mom(pepsi) for. As a result, most are not fooled by the dashing and striking pink color of Cherry 7-up and refuse to even take a sip of the devlish soda. A&W rootbeer is clearly the grandfather of the family, sitting on the porch with his trusty hound at his feet, a shotgun in his lefthand, and a ice cold rootbeer in his right.

The rest of the family:

Snapple: The Nerd
Sprite: The white suburbanite kid who litsents to 50 Cent.
Apple Juice: The wierdo. i.e "how'd he get into our family?"
Orange Juice: The Homosexual
CHERRY Coke: The Virgin
Miller High Life: Nate
Wild Cherry Pepsi: The slut

Any addittions to the soda family analogy are welcome :-)


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