Lunch with a hot waitress

Last Friday, I went to grab some grub with Chuckles and The Freakin Rican at a local eatery. We walk in and notice a really cute waitress fiddling with dishes behind the counter.

We think: Oh shit! I hope she's our waitress!
She thnks: Oh shit! I hope I don't have to serve these saps.

We're told we can sit wherever we want, so we quickly grab a table. Chuckles and the Rican sit down. I'm still standing fiddling with my coat when it happens. The pretty waitress approaches and is standing right next to me. This is my in! Being a dork, I start talking before the waitress has a chance to say anything and I act like I'm the waiter. I ask Chuckles and The Rican if they're ready to order yet or if I should just start them off with some drinks. The waitress looks at me sort of shocked and is like "Wow! look at you.. tryin to steal my job". I say I need some extra cash. In classic fashion, the Rican proceeds to make a joke at my expense. The waitress, to our surprise, seems to be laughing at all this and makes some jokes of her own. I sit down. She notices my Federal Jurisdiction book and makes some joke about it. We lamely say that we are actually here to eat and discuss the book.

We proceed to order. Being a fancy cat, the Rican orders a water, but has special instructions for the waitress. Apparently the Rican can only drink water if it has a lemon in it. We mention that the Rican is sophisticated and the waitress plays along. A friendly exchange b/n the three of us and the waitress went on for about a minute before she took our order. She leaves. The gentleman discuss: "Wow, shes so hot! " -- "And cool too" -- "Yeah, she was really funny, she seems to really like us!" -- "We should have asked if she was on the menu!" -- "Yeah dude! Totally!"

We think: We're so in.
She thinks: I better get a big ass tip for pretending to like talking to these law nerds.
We think: Who cares what she thinks, shes hot!!

Slam Dunkin like a balla!

Holy Fuckin Shit! Bloggin live, for the first time, as I watch the NBA Slam Dunk Contest. Amare Stoudemire just had me up out of my seat screaming and clapping like a little kid. SICK!!! Fuckin threw the ball off the backboard to a waiting Steve Nash, who proceeded to bounce the ball OFF OF HIS HEAD back to Amare who caught it and dunked it. Fuckin sick!!! Having watched the Slam Dunk Contest for years now, it's rare to see a dunk that gets the adraniline pumpin. This is definately going down as one of the best dunks, and most original, in NBA Dunk Contest history. Amazing.

Oh shit. Its on like ping pong!! Yeah, I said it. And yes, I do regret it. Anywhoo, Josh Smith just came out with a nasty dunk of his own. This is clearly the best dunk contest since Vinsanity tore shit up back in 2000.

Out of my seat once again, claping and cheering as Steve Nash (a huge soccer fan) does a rainbow to flip the ball up to Amare who tries to dunk it. He misses, but its so crazy I'm still goin wild. He tries a few more times before Amare finally dunks it. Would have been sweet if he got it on the first try, but big ass props to Amare for bringing some originality back to the Dunk Contest.

Unfuckinbelievable.

Lil Ze: you must be proud! Twas a good night for Phoenix.

Stories from yesteryear

Once in undergrad, a friend of mine, in an intoxicated state, told a story. Whether or not the audience was intoxicated as well is up for historical debate. Anyhow, this dude talked for a full 30 minutes, explaining to us how love is like a rubber sheet. Now what is a rubber sheet you ask? Well to be honest, I don't know, and if anyone out there does know, odds are that I don't wan't to meet you ;-)

Perhaps it was the autumn air, or the alcohol, but the speech was pure poetry; full of passion, emotion, and hand gestures. At that moment in time, I was never as sure about anything as I was sure that love was, indeed, like a rubber sheet. The rationale for such an assertion has long since faded into obscurity, but for that one night, a group of young men and women peered into adulthood and said "No Thanks."

Huh? Exactly.

Maybe I'm a crazy fool. Maybe I'm just crazy. Or maybe I'm just a fool. But nothing beats being in college, eating pizza at 3 A.M, and listening to a drunk dude giving an impassioned speech detaling the parallels between love and a rubber sheet.

How pointless are these posts becoming!?

Str8 Ballin

"Chief. Boss. Gangsta. Dude. Playa." Just a few words that men use when talking to other men. "What's up Boss?" -- "Oh nothin, just chillin playa" etc. But there is one word that a man, or any person for that matter, should never use. That word is "Guy". There is something inherently annoying and condescending when a man says something like "What's up guy? Need some help guy?". I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know I don't like it :-)

The thing is, 2 male friends will often refer to each other as "Dude" or "Chief" -- but NEVER, never ever, will a guy refer to an amigo as 'guy'. If you happen to like the movie Zoolander, and well you should, you'll notice that Owen Wilson uses a new little phrase every time he meets up with Ben Stiller. "Capeeetan" and "Bro" are 2 that come to mind. You never hear Owen Wilson call Ben Stiller "Guy", now do you? Merman! Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude. He's trying to help you out.

What do you think guys?

Wasting some more time

Check this out. Try doing a search on this search engine. It snoopafies all of the search results. It's pretty funny.

Here are some sample results.
A search for George Bush returned: "Dippin' The White Hizouse" and "George W. Bizzy". I don't call this blog 'Wastin Time' for nothin.

Family Guy quote for the day:

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

5 will get you 10, 10 will get you 20...

Today, one of my law professors gave us some advice about lawyering: "It's important to be a regular person sometimes. You can't always be a walking encyclopedia of legal information." Not a problemo teach! A walking pamphlet of legal information... hmm.... now that I could do. Maybe.

Today I reached a new low in terms of in-class behavior. Scratch that... a new high! For you see my friends, today in class I attempted to build a house of cards. To be fair, I couldn't build a towering masterpiece as I was only working with 6 or 7 cards. Nevertheless, I was able to build a respectable two-story apartment. I positioned the 3 of spades on the bottom, and in what is fast becoming a controversial move, I topped off the house with the Ace of Spades -- the death card.

The class ended with a lively game of 3-card monte.

I feel like I've never wasted as much time in class as I do in law school. Let the good times roll.